Wallow

it seems that the closer i walk
towards the end i can't see
what it is, what I wish to seek-
i've lost, it all;
the arid plains are full of fettered holes
flaking and hoping to engulf me in their midst.
i can see the faint apparition
of a face in the distance-
the moment my arm reaches out to touch it,
a hard aching slumber resonates from my body;
and i can't understand what it is
why it is this way
but only that this pain will
continue.

i knew it was so before
yet why does it hurt so much to see it now
upon the precipice of a new civilization?